HOW DESPERATE ARE THE MIAMI HEAT?

We are officially jacked up for the NBA season.

Already giddy after reading a rival GM state in Sports Illustrated yesterday that he expects Ricky to be in "full get-mine mode" this season, Ricky D is headed to South Beach.

With Kevin McHale's dream of fielding the worst NBA team in league history incomplete, as you know he dealt Ricky Buckets and Blount Dog to the Miami Heat for Cybertoine and other pieces of junk.

If we know Ricky, there will be no shortage of drama this season in South Beach.

With a Heat jersey already on the way to New York, we put together the official Ricky Davis over/under line for the number of games it will take him to do a variety of crazy shit.

100: Smash Shaq's big toe with a hammer. He won't be around that long, but don't ever underestimate Ricky Davis.

75: Punch Dwyane Wade in the face. Expect all hell to break loose toward the end of the season and Rick was immediately shipped out of Cleveland after allegedly cussing out LeBron.

25: Force Pat Riley into "leave of absence" (a.k.a. retirement). A bad knee and hip forced him out in 31 last year... Ricky could do that in his sleep.

15: Caught in an orgy doing rounds of coke with his new best friends Jason Williams and The Playmaker. Man, Ricky is going to love Miami.

12: Responds to lecture by Riley with, "Fuck that shit, bitch!"

10: Pull a page out of Richard Jefferson's book, gang up on Zo with Jason Williams and call Zo a "whiny ass bitch" over his kidney.

OFF: Shoot on his own hoop. Let's not forget Ricky's still looking for Ricky's first triple-double, baby!

Can't wait another week to see Ricky Buckets in action? Neither can we: