4.14.2008

LAST WEEKEND WAS NOT AWESOME!

With the snooze fest going on at The Masters, we decided to take a weekend off from sports.

Apparently there's not much else to our lives.

Only two real notable events took place over the past 48 hours.

#1 V-Man did some investigative work to find out who actually reads this blog. His findings? People that type in "underage girls love the dick" into Google. Go ahead, try it yourself.

We're pleased to see we have become an internet authority on kiddie porn.

#2 We went to go see Prom Night last evening to see if we had another John Tucker Must Die on our hands. It has to be the worst movie since SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2.

We've lost all faith in Hollywood when Ziggy and Stringer Bell go from The Wire to this shit-show.

But what really made the theater experience was the audience.

Some ill-fitted parent actually brought their baby to a horror movie. At first we thought it was just part of the film. That is until it wailed uncontrollably for 5 minutes during a prom dance.

But that pailed in comparison to the other jokers there.

During every single overly drawn moment of "suspense" (there were a lot), a group of people yelled at the screen for the entire hour-and-a-half. Some examples:

"Put on yo shoes, bitch!"


"Oh HELLLLLLLL no!"


"He had time to move the body too?!?! Stop playin'!!!!"

And our personal favorite:

"N****, get outta the car!"

It really was like that Chris Rock joke where he talks about people poppin' off a couple rounds at the movie theater.

It also gave us the idea for a brilliant new TV show: "Mystery Science Theather 3000: The Projects." This has real potential. Of course, we're sure Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg will steal our idea and make millions off it.

More on that later...

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